Were you ever one of those people that said, “I just want to give my kids a better life than I had!” Guilty!!!! I have spoke about it many times but for as long as I could remember I wanted to be a mom and whenever I didn’t like the way things went with my mom I remember thinking to myself, “things will be different with my kids” or “I won’t treat my kids like that” or “I’ll make sure my kids always have what they want.”
I grew up poor but never went without what I actually needed. I may not have always gotten name brand clothes or brand new clothes but I always had clothes, I may not have gone on fancy vacations or even flown on a plan until I was in my twenties but we still had fun vacations and long family road trips. Because my parents were unable to provide me with the things that I wanted I got a job as soon as I could and worked as much as I could. I always said that I wanted to make enough money to have the things I both wanted and needed. I also always had the thought that my kids would too.
After being in the professional working world for 18 years now, most of those being in some type of management I have had to deal with my fair share of entitled brats. Those “millennial’s” that expect a pat on the back just for showing up, they may not be on time or even do their job but they showed up. The punks who think they deserve everything for nothing. I fear that I’m raising those punks because of the mindset, that I’m going to give them everything I never had.
I started to realize it awhile ago and I have cut back on certain things since then but it’s so hard. Trips to Target no longer end with a toy or something from the dollar section just because, cleaning their rooms will no longer result in moms help and neither will making their beds, and the list goes on. I buy my kids crap way too often and most of the time it’s for no reason at all. I’m not rewarding any behavior and because of that they just expect things for no reason at all. I still have to scream at them to get their rooms cleaned, put their clothes away, or do their chores. As parents, we are creating the next generation of entitled punks and I’m guilty of contributing.
Another confession of mine is doing too many activities with my kids. Growing up, going to Beaver pool was our family activity or going camping but here I am dragging my kids to every Farmers Market, the park, all of the parades, to the store for projects they can do, to the trampoline park, to the movies, and some of those things all in one weekend. What I noticed is that they started to expecting to do something every single weekend, their schedules were getting out of whack, they were getting colds more often from all of their exposure, they were being assholes and still expecting all of the fun and they were getting it because it’s what I wanted. Once again I was rewarding them for no reason at all.
Yes, I called my kids assholes because they totally are. They are miniature assholes! Don’t get me wrong, I love those kids with everything I’ve got but they’re smart, witty, and they can be down right evil sometimes, especially the little one.
Anyway, I’m getting off topic here….my point is, STOP! Stop running yourself down trying to make up for everything you didn’t get or didn’t have. There are times when my kids would rather play with a paper airplane than their expensive remote control car, they would rather watch a movie and chill than run around town, play in their rooms and use their imagination more than jumping on the trampoline. What happened to kids just being kids without expectation, prizes, and gifts???? We, as parents are taking away the best parts of their childhood by trying to make it the best it can be. Their life is already awesome, they have you as parents! So let them be awesome and give yourself a break!